I'm a Little Teapot
by twilliams1797
Summary: One shot Harry and his family have a conversation before he leaves for good


**I'm a Little Teapot**

twilliams1797

Harry comes into his power while relatively young, 4th year.

"I don't want to cause you trouble, I just want to live my life without interference"

Vernon growled "your existence is interference in our lives, they didn't think of that when they dumped you on us"

Harry sighed.

"I know, I have heard that from you ever since I was dumped here, do you think I  
like the fact that my parent's wills were ignored and someone is doing their best to control my life"?"

Before Vernon could speak, Dudley was trying to enhance his words 'we don't care what you like" with a swing at Harry who put up his hand and caught the boy's fist in mid swing, his whole stance, froze in place like a sculpture of a boxer ,Harry sat on the chair, as Vernon and Petunia began to exclaim, and he held up his other hand stopping them from speaking. "I was talking, now be quiet and sit there"

Harry still held the frozen fist as Dudley's eyes twitched back and forth like a trapped animal.

With a flick of his opposite hand, Dudley disappeared and holding in his hand, Harry had a teapot, which he held by the spout.

The teapot was porcelain, and shaped like a caricature the fat boy, his left arm the handle, and the right the spout. The lid looked like the hair on the top of his head, with a twirl of hair the knob. The face of the teapot was a drawing of the fat boy, his face in a grimace. Harry turned the back, and it was the back of a fat boy, with the shirt riding up, exposing a vertical smile, that is to say a buttcrack.

Harry looked it over, turned it around and took the lid off to see what was inside..

'Vernon, Petunia, some tea?" he twitched his finger and proceeded to pour the tea out into the cups already sitting on the table.

Petunia looked horrified at the manhandling of her apparent son.. Harry purposely made as if to drop the teapot.."Oops!, don't want to drop it, and break dear duddykins..."

With that he sat the teapot on the table with the cups, and sat back.

"I intend to leave here today, and no, the ministry cannot track my magic, so no one will be coming to arrest me..if they did, they would just obliviate all of you, and hopefully they wont accidentally erase the knowledge of your own name or something important.."The Ministry doesn't much care for muggles, you know. "

"So, what am I going to do with you all?, are you going to give me trouble and threaten me?

"I certainly hope not, because I could use a complete tea set" he gestured to the table

"I could just transfigure you all and then dump you in the donate bin at the rummage store, at least the money there goes for a good cause, helping people".

Petunia was crying, and Vernon was frantic, but both were silenced. Harry picked up the teapot again and hefted it in his hand, poured out the remainder of the tea, which vanished before it hit any surface..'Just a reminder, not to fuck with me any more.."He took the cap off and tossed the teapot toward the couch.

Dudley impacted the couch, his one arm up and he other stuck to his hip. He looked stunned and just sagged as his arms fell. Petunia was struggling against whatever was holding her as she was screaming silently..

Harry held something up.."I'll hold onto this until I leave, he can have his hair back." he stuffed the teapot lid in his pocket as Dudley felt his shiny bald head. Harry left the room and the adults were released from their binding, Petunia flew over to her son, and was poking and prodding him to see if he was all right, not finding anything wrong other than his hair being gone was crying and gibbering, while Vernon was frozen in place, almost afraid to move, while looking around frantically, wondering if a wizard or demon was going to jump out at him.

Harry gathered his belongings, set Hedwig free, telling her to meet him in a few days when he arrived at his destination.

Harry came down the stairs and stuffed his trunk into his pocket as he did so.

Vernon was finally getting up to comfort his wife and son, when Harry entered the room.

"I'm leaving here today, I am not coming back. The wards that the old goat put up should hold for at least a week, before you become visible to the magical world, after that, there is nothing  
I can do for you.."

"I suggest you sell the house,and move,"

oh, no you can't do that, can you, it's in my name, with no mortgage, no taxes,

all paid by me.. yes I found out _**exactly**_ how much of a burden I am on a good upstanding, normal family."..

he walked to the front door, and was about to open it.

I'm s littler Teapot

"Oh,I almost forgot..here's your hair Big D"

he tossed the teapot lid, and Dudley reached up to catch it, and partially did.. most of the hair landed on his head, and rearranged itself to fit as well as it could.. the rest was growing out the palms of his hands,

Harry walked down the front walk to a waiting car while a Lawyer passed him going the other way, carrying an eviction notice as well as a demand for unpaid rental.


End file.
